Reasons You Will Hat Me #3 - Instant Class

By just throwing a top hat into the sartorial equation, we've turned "HI BBY U GOT GR8 TITS AN I WLD LUV2 KIS EM AN I WLD LET U TUCH LIDLE WARNY I PROMIZ NOT 2B A FAST BOWLA LOLOLOL" into "Good evening, madam. Fancy joining me for an evening of mediocre drunken coupling followed by a few weeks of scandal and shame in the tabloid newspapers and womens mags?"

Reasons You Will Hat Me #2 - Hiding From The Fuzz

If only Tony Mokbel had turned to Reasons You Will Hat Me instead of wasting time and money making pointless purchases over at unconvincinghairpieces.com. With the simple addition of a cowboy hat, Mokbel could have hidden undetected in the wild west of America - or, alternatively, a Madonna videoclip.

Reasons You Will Hat Me #1 - Male Pattern Baldness

Much better. And the beret adds a welcome dash of Eurochic to this gentleman's appearance which will no doubt assist him greatly when it comes to the ladies.